Written by Victoria Ford, DPA, LMSW

 

Lies Professional Women Tell Themselves

In my work with women, especially those in leadership or high-pressure professional roles, I’ve seen how three subtle but heavy lies can quietly take hold: loneliness, insecurity, and envy. Most of the time, these thoughts aren’t said out loud. But they shape how women move through their careers, their relationships, and how they see themselves.

Loneliness: “I’m the only one feeling this way.”

So many women, even the ones who seem to “have it all together”, have told me they feel incredibly alone. Their calendars are full. Their careers are thriving. Their online presence is polished. But deep down, there’s this sense of disconnection. It’s not because they don’t have people around them, it’s because they’ve learned to believe that showing vulnerability will cost them credibility.

And then there are the women who don’t feel successful at all, women who feel overlooked, stuck, or held back by systems, people, or unspoken biases. They carry the weight of trying to prove themselves in environments that don’t always recognize their full potential. Whether they’re rising through the ranks or trying to get a foot in the door, many feel isolated in their efforts, unsure if they’re ever truly seen. 

I’ve sat with women who feel like they can’t afford to be honest about what they’re going through. Especially in male-dominated rooms or in high-stakes spaces where perfection is the unspoken expectation, emotional needs get buried. And behind the brave face is someone quietly wondering if they’re the only one struggling.

Loneliness convinces women to keep their guard up, to pretend everything is fine, and to push through. But that only deepens the isolation. It keeps them from reaching out, being seen, and forming the kinds of real connections that could actually sustain them.

Insecurity: “I’m not enough, or worse, I’m too much.”

This one shows up in so many different ways. I’ve worked with women who are brilliant, driven, and juggling more than most could imagine, but underneath all of that is this fear that they’re not really qualified, or that one wrong move will expose them.

Insecurity can wear a mask. It might look like high standards or constant self-improvement, but at the core is a deep question about worth. Somewhere along the line, they were taught that they had to overperform to be accepted, or that taking up too much space would make them a target.

I’ve seen it stop women from negotiating their salaries, speaking up in meetings, or going for opportunities they’re more than ready for. And the cost isn’t just professional, it chips away at their peace, their power, and their belief in themselves.

Envy: “She’s better than me, and that means I’m failing.”

Envy is tough to admit, especially among women who genuinely support other women. But in a world that constantly shows us highlight reels, social media, polished career wins, curated life updates, it’s easy to slip into comparison. And what starts as admiration can slowly turn into self-doubt.

I’ve seen women start questioning their path just because someone else’s journey looks more glamorous, more celebrated, or more visible. Instead of seeing other women’s wins as proof that it’s possible, envy whispers that they’re falling short, and that kind of thinking is exhausting.
When we believe that someone else’s success takes away from our own, we pull back. We isolate. We start to see other women as competition instead of community. And that’s dangerous, because we need each other. Sisterhood isn’t just a nice idea, it’s a strategy for survival and success.

Reclaiming the Truth

These lies, loneliness, insecurity, and envy, don’t define us, but they do shape us if we don’t name them. The good news is that once we bring them into the light, they start to lose their grip.
You are not the only one feeling this way.

You are enough, exactly as you are.

And another woman’s success doesn’t diminish yours, it proves what’s possible.

We don’t have to keep carrying these silent struggles alone. Healing starts when we tell the truth, first to ourselves, and then to each other. The truth is, we are more powerful when we stop pretending and start connecting.

So let’s choose honesty over hiding. Let’s choose community over comparison. And most of all, let’s choose to believe in ourselves, not just for where we’ve been, but for everything we’re still becoming.

Tips to help professional women battle the lies of loneliness, insecurity, and envy:
Here are 5 tips to help women break the cycle of internal lies and walk in truth, strength, and sisterhood:

1: Create a Community
Surround yourself with women who support one another by seeking spaces where you can be real, not just impressive. When you’re truly seen and accepted, unity is born, and the lie of loneliness begins to lose its grip.

2: Reach Out Before You Shut Down
When you feel yourself withdrawing, send that text. Make the call. Reach out to a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist. Loneliness thrives in silence; connection begins with one brave step.

3: Celebrate Your Progress
Acknowledge your small wins. Write them down. Speak them aloud. Remind yourself of how far you’ve come and what it took to get here. Becoming your authentic self is worth celebrating, daily.

4: Refrain From Negative Self-Talk
Would you speak to someone you love the way you speak to yourself? Shift your inner dialogue. Show yourself grace. Speak life over your journey, big or small, and honor your process.

5: Celebrate Other Women Loudly
Cheering for other women breaks envy’s grip. When you uplift and celebrate another’s success, you open the door for the same joy, favor, and growth to enter your own life.

Final Words:

“You are not behind. You are not broken. You are becoming. And as you rise, remember: you break cycles, you build bridges, and you are the woman someone else is praying to meet”.

Which of these lies have you battled lately?

If you’re ready to stop pretending and start healing,  Get In Touch

At Vibrant Women Wellness Counseling (VWWC), we help high-functioning professional women break free from the lies that hold them back—loneliness, insecurity, and comparison. Whether you’re seeking support, clarity, or a space to be seen and heard—we’re here.  Book your free consultation today.

Let’s build the sisterhood and self-trust you deserve.

To learn more about Vibrant Women Wellness Counseling and the services we offer visit us at Vibrant Women Wellness Counseling and follow us on Instagram at and Linkedin